Go On
Posted by Miyavi
Date Posted: 10/29/2008

I was having a hard time accepting my little brother's death, I just couldn't believe he was gone and I didn't want to, but reality has a way of making us face things we'd rather not.

My mother was gone for the night with one of her boyfriends, none of my other brother's were home. I stayed up all night going through pictures of my family, trying to see where he took the wrong turn. But in each picture he looked happy, like always. My brother was in a lot of pain and I never once saw it. I was too wrapped up in my pain and sorrow. I went into the bathroom and grabbed my razor, I wanted to end it. It was my fault my brother was gone.

I was barely alive, but I swear it's true. I saw my little brother walk through the bathroom door, and sit down by me, he wrapped up my bleeding arms "keep on going, even if it hurts, walk on." he said. He called for help and in no time I was in an ambulance on my way to the hospital.

When I was awake, the nurse came in, I asked her how I got there, she told me my little brother called for an ambulance, she placed a picture in my hand and said he wanted me to have this. I looked at it and saw that it was a picture of us when I was five and he was a baby. I told her it couldn't be because my brother was dead.

I guess my brother didn't want me to die. Every now and then when I can't take life anymore and want to end it he arrives and tells me the same thing he did that night. Go On.

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